Saying goodbye to TV... again!

About two months ago, our landlord asked us if we could "babysit" a TV in the upstairs apartment while it sat empty.   "Sure!" we replied!  We were able to use a DVD player and have really enjoyed watching movies.  There are those certain moments when it is just so convenient to put a video on for the kids.  But then it seems those moments become more and more common.  And then the kids start to ask for it more often then I'd like.  It sort of snowballs.  Our big thing, too, is letting the kids fall asleep watching a movie.  By the end of the day we're exhausted so it's just easier, but we end up missing out on those precious bedtime moments.

Well, last week new tenants moved in upstairs and so the TV had to go back.  Once again we are living TVless and once again I'm loving it.  We do have an option to watch videos on our computer, but this computer is my lifeline - for really important stuff, you know, like checking my facebook and writing my blogs, right? ;)  No, seriously, we really don't want to use the computer for videos because it is very important to us.  So we decided as a family to have movie night once a week - you know make it a big deal with popcorn and excitement and have that be that.  It's amazing how fast the kids adjust to it, too, and come up with way more creative things to do.

First night without the TV!

It's better this way!

What's going on with Jude?

This is a journal entry from September 10:

Ever since I got back from my trip, Jude has been like a different kid. He's so clingy. He wants me to carry him everywhere and do everything for him. He wants nothing to do with Scott - only mommy. And he keeps shouting for things in a high-pitched, stressed-out voice, "I need JUICE!!" It is so frustrating, irritating, exasperating! I love this boy with all my heart, but I'm at my wits end with him.

Definitely I can see that when I went on that trip it caused some stress in little Jude's life.  Not only did I leave him, I brought the baby with me.  I chose Koa over him.  That's painful.  It's been tough to get that connection back with him.  The hard thing is, I know that what he needs is more connection, but his behavior is causing the opposite to happen.  And with three other children, including a baby, it's really hard to re-connect.  And honestly, I don't even know how to reconnect!

Well, I started reading a new book, Playful Parenting, and I had the breakthrough I've been praying for. I never realized before that play is such a powerful way to connect with our children. 

"Since fun and laughs are the currency of children's play, we may need some work on lightening up a bit.  When we get disconnected from children - and we do, again and again - play is our best bridge back to deep connection with them."

So, yesterday I determined to be more playful and see what would happen.  I needed to go grocery shopping and decided that I would take my little "tiger cubs" shopping.  When I took each one out of the van I gave them a little tug at the back of their necks with my mouth, the way a momma tiger carries her cubs.  Jude's eyes were twinkling.  He thought this was the greatest thing ever. Instead of buying food we were hunting, and our grocery bags were our meat.  The boys helped carry the bags into the car by carrying them in their mouths like little tigers.  It was hysterical.

"When we are exhausted or when we are at the end of our rope, we tend to think that play will be just more of an energy drain.  But when we engage playfully with our children, we find that sudenly we do have the energy, both for fun and for finding creative solutions to thorny problems."

That night Kai, Ezzy and Koa all fell asleep, but Jude was still awake.  This is a situation that could potentially frustrate me, but I decided to keep the playfulness going just to see what would happen.  We started out playing tigers again.  He was the baby tiger, I was the mommy and Scott was the daddy.  Then we were hawks and the daddy hawk taught him how to fly and the mommy hawk fed him some worms.  Then we were hermit crabs.  Again he was the baby and Scott and I were the parents.  We had to hide in our shells a lot.  Next we were bears, but this time he was a "big boy bear."  His voice changed a little bit, he was being more confident and doing more things as a big boy bear.  Then I suggested that the big boy bear was tired.  He went to lay down by Koa, still as the "big boy bear" whispering that the big boy bear wouldn't wake up the baby.

Jude's face as I entered his world of imaginary play was incredible.  Eyes alive, alert, engaged.  Facial expression serious, concentrated, intense, fully engrossed in what he was imagining.  He was seriously happy - like I haven't seen him in quite some time. 

Now today he seems to have a deeper contentment, he seems more brave, more able to risk being a "big boy" and know that I'll be here, buiding trust back with me.

A friend came by who's known to be a big Jude fan.  Since my trip Jude has been very grumpy and mean with this friend who used to be his pal.  Well, today Jude was being friendly, silly and engaging once more.  "Wow, he's getting back to like he was before,"  he said.  Yes, he is.   I think my Jude is back to stay.
 

Cheap Thrills

Week in review

I've been struggling a little bit to get back into a groove with the boys and homeschooling after my trip.  This week feels like we're getting our rhythm back, so I thought it would be fun to post some of our successful moments.

Kai made this guy and called him Tim.  We've been having fun including Tim in all kinds of activities.  It makes me laugh seeing his creepy face peering through doorways or propped up against the wall!

If you've been following along, you know about my math struggles.  Our math curriculum is out the window, so I have to just make things up until we find something we like.  This week we did M&M math, just for fun and something different. 

It was fun because it was something we could do all together.

 

Kai had extra practice after his brothers lost interest. I was surprised to find he likes doing timed drills in addition so we've done several a day and he's getting faster. I like hearing him talk to himself, "Come on, Kai, you know this!"

We did some subtraction practice with marshmallows, eating them one by one and counting them.

Making sensory boxes is something I've been wanting to do for awhile.  These ideas are from Pink and Green Mama blog.  This one is a "construction box" filled with sand, rocks, and all construction related cars and trucks.

We died rice blue using hand sanitizer and blue food coloring in a ziploc bag.

This is an Ocean in a box.  We collected all ocean related toys and put arranged them in the box with the rice. 

I took this picture through my kitchen window, it's a view of the boys playing happily while I fixed lunch.  These boxes have provided hours of fun for the boys. 

Lots and lots of reading

This is a picture of Scott reading Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein.  Scott has done a lot of reading aloud this week.  We started Dr. Doolittle, which on our Sonlight reading list is scheduled for the next four weeks.  Well, they got so into it they finished it in three days! 

How was your week?

What is my husband's greatest strength?

He loves people.


I am so challenged by him. I do love people. A lot. But I fear I love myself more. MY time, MY feelings, MY emotions, MY needs.


But here is a man who truly puts others first. Not out of some great sacrifice, or because it's the "right" thing to do, but because he just loves people. He gets so much joy from them.


In that way, I think he's a lot like Jesus.

Fun with food coloring

Just add a few drops of food coloring to water in clear containers.  I gave my kids a couple different kinds of medicine droppers to play with and they had fun for a long time mixing and adding colors.

Ezzy poured the water in containers.

 

Then he added a few drops of food coloring to each one.

Begin mixing with droppers.  Kai played too.

But this activity really captivated Ezzy's (almost 5) attention the longest.

Making Changes

I'll confess something.  Sometimes it's hard for me to leave the house.  I know that sounds crazy, but it's just the effort of tearing myself free from my children and chores and when I do have a chance to go out I'd usually rather just rest and read and be quiet.  But I know my hermit tendencies are not healthy and in reality make me unhappy.

I read this article last week called "The Trouble with Motherhood" and it brought me to tears.  It made me realize I need to make some changes.  So I sat down and just sort of wrote out how I was feeling and what I thought would help. Basically it involved sitting with my hubby and making a more detailed schedule of our lives.  We're at a phase of life where if it's not "scheduled" in, it won't happen!  So now I have 7 a.m. - 8 a.m. scheduled for me before Scott goes out the door at 8.  Scott does breakfast and Bible with the kids and I get to have a little time.

This week I went walking on the beach, just me and God.  I played tennis with a friend.  I even went to a women's fellowship Saturday night, even though I didn't want to and I was tired.  My husband actually prayed for me going out the door!  Isn't that silly, but so sweet?  I ended up staying until 10:30 pm and laughing so hard I was crying.  I feel better, I feel more alive, I feel more creative and joyful.  I think for us moms it's the little things.  Small choices can make such huge difference.

Steady Mom's 30-minute blog challenge 

Inspiration

I love blog sites. I think sometimes in the midst of parenting we all need a little inspiration. A fresh idea, an encouragement, even a push to do better, to make the most of the moments we have, to live life to the fullest. This post inspired me to get outside and do some messy, fun painting!

Paint in Costa Rica is actually pretty expensive, so I decided to make my own.

I didn't have a lot of ingredients on hand so we just mixed flour and water (in equal proportions) and food coloring - so easy!


I spread a big sheet of paper out in the yard and the rest was up to them! Freedom!

They really liked mixing colors up on plastic plates.

Can you tell we had fun?

This was such a simple, but enjoyable activity for all ages. I will definitely do this again!

a great post about sibling rivalry

I really liked this post at Holy Experience. I read it to the boys this morning, summarizing it in ways that they could understand. I couldn't get through it without crying. The pictures are impacting and I think Ezzy and Kai really got the message of it.

I also liked this 10 point manifest for joyful mothering also from Holy Experience and wanted to share it here, too.


1. Today, I will make our home a house of prayer. I will pray at set times. And I will invite oru children to come move into an interior space that lives with God.

2. Today, I will transfigure all things into beauty, and I will refuse to see anything else.

3. Today, I will nto have any emergencies. There are no emergencies! Only amateurs hurry.

4. Today, when stress mounts, I pray to dismount it with gratitude. My stress management plan will be intervention with verbal thanks. I can only feel one feeling at a time, and I choose to give thanks at all times. Fight feeling with feeling!

5. Today, I will pray to speak words that are only STRONG words, words that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air. All other words I breathe are death words.

6. Today, I will pray to be consistently consistent. I will create safe rhythms that our children can find security in. I will create daily ceremonies because everyday we are celebrating the gift of now!

7. Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child's behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.

8. Today, I will hug each of my children as many times as I serve them meals - because children's hearts feed on touch. I'll look for as many opportunities to touch my children today as possible - the taller they are, the more so.

9. Today, my priorities will be all Things Unseen.

10. Today, I will laugh! And I will let the little children laugh! I will create a culture of JOY!

Wow, what a challenging list! I am especially challenged by number 7. I think that is going to be my specific goal for the next few days. I'm struggling with Ezra again. I've mentioned his behavior before on this blog site. He has such an intensity about him. He's at a really high frustration level right now too. He wants things to be a certain way and if they aren't he gets so upset. I feel like I relate to him, I know how he feels. I was a lot like him as a child. So, I actually feel bad for him because it's hard to feel that way. But then when the crying just continues and continues and won't stop, I start to lose my patience and I don't know what to do anymore. Especially because his crying is usually interrupting something else and interfering with other things we're doing or waking up a baby that I struggled so hard to get to sleep. So, I'm going to keep praying and keep drawing closer to him. Even when I don't know what to do, God does and so I'm going to lean on Him more to show me how to love this little boy beyond my own strength.

Tips for making an ant farm

1. Do not try to put ants barehanded into an ant farm. They will bite, your hands will swell. They will also crawl all over your body - down your shirt and pants, before you can stop them.
2. Do not try this 5x.
3. Do not attack an anthill with a spatula while barefooted and 3 small boys watch. The ants will go crazy, spread quickly and bite.
4. Do put ants you've collected in the fridge for up to 15 minutes before handling them - it does not kill them, but makes them inactive so you can get them into the farm.
5. Realize that the ants will only remain inactive for a few seconds. During this time do not spill dirt and ants all over the counter.
6. If that does happen, screaming won't help the situation.
7. At the end of the process, once the ants are safely inside, enjoy watching them dig their tunnels, it's actually pretty AMAZING.
8. Be sure to read lots of books about ants along with your ant farm project.
9. Beware if guests come and warn them not to SHAKE the ant farm. Yes, this happened. Even my two-year old knows not to shake it. But a full grown adult shook it and in seconds destroyed all the tunnels the ants had spent hours making. I suggest putting a little note or something by your ant farm so guests are warned not to do this. You just never know.
10. Have fun!

More 30-minute Steady Mom challenges are here.

A Better Day

So yesterday I cried. And I prayed. As I went to bed I determined in my heart to have a better day. Basically, I am over-tired, losing my patience, yelling at my children and feeling angry and frustrated. Homeschool is overwhelming me, I'm trying to do too much and things are turning into power-struggles with my kids. This is not how I want to be! This is not my dream for homeschool! So I determined to RELAX, ENJOY my children, re-adjust my priorities, have fun and do better. These posts really helped: A Steady Days Excerpt: Enthusiasm and The Family Hour: Recess for Everyone as well as a good long chat with an encouraging friend. God is so good!

So, I am happy to share with you now my "better day."

I started the morning off having all the boys jump in bed with me and I said sorry for being such a grumpy mommy. They gave me big, reassuring hugs and we started the day off with smiles and love and a few good stories. I've been trying to fit too much into our school days and the things that get dropped are all the science experiments. So today was science day, doing all the fun projects we skipped. Oh, Kai was so joyful. He has truly been longing for this day. "I want to be a scientist when I grow up," he said confidently this morning. That's actually his very first, what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up comment.

We started out examining soil. Kai added one scoop of soil to a jar. Then two scoops of water.

Shake it up and then let it sit for two hours.

The soil separates into layers. The top layer is humus, then comes clay, then sand and finally small rocks at the bottom. Believe me, this completely amazed my children!

Next we examined leaf litter. This is the stuff that decomposes to make the top layer of soil. Kai gathered a bunch in a bag.

We dumped it out on a piece of paper on the table to go through. This stuff is disgusting! We found lots of cobwebs, little creepy crawlies, dead things and other nastiness. All things boys love!

Finally, we examined leaves. Each boy went out to collect some cool leaves.

We took a look at all the different leaves and talked about each one.

Then we did some leaf rubbings.

As I put my boys to bed tonight, things just felt so much more peaceful, happy, calm. My heart is full of love, not irritation. And instead of dreading it, I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow. Thank you, Jesus!

p.s. All these activities and more are part of our Sonlight curriculum and found in this book:

Usborne Science Activities, Vol. 2