{this moment}

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Another confession

I have another confession. I have a slight obsession with parenting books. I'm not quite sure why. I think first and foremost because the topic of children is one that has always interested me. It's what I studied in college and went to graduate school for. Now as a parent I am very intrigued with the way people parent their children. I'm interested in what other people do, what works for them, what they suggest and what the results are. 

Another reason I turn to these books is when I get to a frustration point with my children. When nothing I'm doing seems to be working, I want a quick fix. I want someone to just tell me what to do, really. So I start diving in looking for answers. This way never works, though. Because the reality is, there is no magic formula for parenting. There are no answers, and there is no one you can turn to to tell you, as the mom, what to do with your own children. Sure, a lot of these books proclaim to offer all the answers and if you follow their step-by-step instructions you will have perfectly behaved children. Sounds good, right? Of course it does.

I love what Donald Miller has to say about our human desire to search for a magic formula for life.

"I looked on my shelf at all the self-help books I happened to own... and I realized none of them actually helped me that much. All the promises of fulfillment really didn't work. My life was fairly normal before I read them, meaning I had good days and bad days, and then my life was fairly normal after I read them too, meaning I still had good days and bad days. It made me wonder, honestly, if such a complex existence as the one you and I are living can really be broken down into a few steps. It seems if there was a formula to fix life, Jesus would have told us what it was."

Ba bam.

And then he goes on and says later on,

"I know there are people who have actually gone from misery to happiness, but they didn't do it by walking through three steps; they did it because they had a certain set of parents and heard a certain song and knew somebody who had a certain experience and saw some movie, read some book, had something happen to them like a car wreck or a trip to Seattle. Then they called on God, and a week later read something in a magazine or met a girl in Wichita, and when all this happened they had an epiphany, and somebody may have helped them fulfill what this epiphany made them feel, and several years later they rationalized this mystic experience with three steps, then they told the three steps to us in a book. I'm not saying they weren't trying to be helpful; I bring this up only because life is complex, and the idea that you can break it down or fix it in a few steps is rather silly.

The truth is there are a million steps, and we don't even know what the steps are, and worse, at any given moment we may not be willing or even able to take them; and still worse, they are different for you and me and they are always changing. I have come to believe the sooner we find this truth beautiful, the sooner we will fall in love with the God who keeps shaking things up, keeps changing the path, keeps rocking the boat to test our faith in Him, teaching us not to rely on easy answers, bullet points, magic mantras, or genies in lamps, but rather in His guidance, His existence, His mercy, and His love."

And really that's what it comes down to. When I reach that wall, that frustration point. The ONLY one who can tell me what to do, guide me, direct me, and above all CHANGE MY HEART, (which is really the only thing that will bring about change in the situation), is God, and He does have the answers I seek.

Having said all that, I still do like parenting books. I haven't just tossed them out the window because they don't offer all that they claim to. I like to read them because I find good ideas in them. Maybe something I haven't tried before. Or maybe something that I already know, but a good reminder, like a pep talk from a coach. A chapter here, a chapter there keeps my thoughts fresh, helps keep me focused on being the mom that I want to be.

Recently I actually got my husband to read a book with me. I am so happy about this. We're already over half-way through it, and he's reading it aloud to me in the evening. The thing I like the most about this is not the actual book itself, but the way it causes Scott and I to start dialoguing. Talking about how we were brought up, or things we do that we want to change, or what we could do differently or better. Reading together helps us to have these conversations that we wouldn't naturally have.

The book talks about Honor-based parenting. I really like that concept. I like the idea of teaching our children honor. That we honor each other in our daily lives, in how we interact with each other.

We're doing something fun right now that we call the "Honor Challenge" We made a poster and wrote down all the things that are honoring behavior. Respect, Listening, Obedience, Kindness, Love, Politeness, Helpfulness, etc.  Then we wrote each persons name and a place for stickers. The rule is you can't give yourself a sticker, or ask for a sticker for yourself. You have to look around at everyone in the family and give other people stickers when you see them do something honoring. It's so much fun to see the boys running to give each other stickers when someone shares, or is kind, or polite. And we're working together. When we fill up our stickers we'll go get a pizza or ice cream as a whole family for a special treat. The reason we're doing this is because our children are still so little and it helps to make the concepts of honor more concrete. It helps them to be aware and see and recognize honoring behavior.

So I'm glad I'm reading that book because it brought my attention to honor. Sure, it lists seven steps to transform your family, that probably won't actually transform my family. Instead we'll probably grow and change "slowly and with time, the way a tree grows by a river," as the Holy Spirit works in us. But focusing on honor and teaching our children these concepts is still a great thing to do.

 

 

Rainbow Rice

Another Pink and Green Mama Activity!  This one is too fun and easy not to share.  I think this is probably one of the best activities I've done.  

Just put some rice in a ziploc bag.  Add a few squirts of hand sanitizer (or rubbing alcohol will work too) and a few squirts of food coloring.  Squish it all up to dye the rice.

 Here are all our colors drying in their bags.  They dried really fast.

I poured the colors into a clear container, look how cool it looks!

Jude was thrilled with this!

 

Add some toys and get ready for lots of imaginative, sensory play!

Mixing it up is so much fun!

 

Here's a video of Jude playing in the rice.

How do you have the time?

People ask me this a lot in regards to my blog.  So, I thought I'd answer by first stating things I don't do:  1.  Watch TV or videos, 2.  Leave the house.  3.  Have a life.  Haha!  Well, it's my season with a house full of small children.  So, blogging is something I can do easily from the comfort of my home, sharing my passion - which is my children.  That being said, what I usually do is take photos throughout the week of things we do.  Thoughts will be stirring.  Then on the weekend I take a little time to put together a few posts and set them to post throughout the week.  So what you're seeing here is usually one week behind.  Shhhh, now you know my secret.

Fun with food coloring

Just add a few drops of food coloring to water in clear containers.  I gave my kids a couple different kinds of medicine droppers to play with and they had fun for a long time mixing and adding colors.

Ezzy poured the water in containers.

 

Then he added a few drops of food coloring to each one.

Begin mixing with droppers.  Kai played too.

But this activity really captivated Ezzy's (almost 5) attention the longest.

Multitude Monday

I haven't been keeping up online, but here's a peek into my gratitude journal...

130. Jude jumping up and cheering for Ezzy when he stood up on a surfboard.
136. Stressing for no reason because God has it totally under control!
138. Ezzy and Jude's creative play and laughter.
139. Being told by a stranger how much she enjoyed watching my children play.
141. Ezzy and Jude playing duck duck goose by themselves - funniest thing I've ever seen!
143. Time with just Ezzy playing in my room.
145. Playing "hermit crabs."
146. The whole family snuggling up and laughing watching Goofy cartoons in bed.
147. Speaking Spanish.
148. Lessons learned and being applied to a new situation. The past not repeating itself!
149. Hosting our first missions team.
150. Cooking with a huge block of California cheddar cheese.
156. Reading Proverbs with Scott.
159. Good books challenging my thinking and stretching my brain.
160. New ideas for homeschool.
161. Free surf camp for the boys!
165. Fireworks and good friends on the fourth of July
170. A small living space that gets messy fast, but also cleans up very fast.
171. A house that is very lived in - every inch of space is used- I love that!
174. Jude washing dishes.
175. Being a part of a woman's Bible study.

Mad Hungry

Mad Hungry: Feeding Men and Boys

I just got this book in the mail from my sister.  Isn't this just the most perfect book for me?  I'm going through it and underlining with a pencil!  Listen to the introduction

"Men eat differently from women - they eat more, they eat constantly, and they eat passionately.  They ransack a packed refrigerator and scrounge crumbs from an empty one.  They eat standing in front of the fridge, and they eat with their fingers.  They always make a mess and never notice.  They are all appetite and no pretense.  'What's for dinner?' is the most important, most burning question.  Food is everything to them and food is nothing until there is none.  And if they're 'mad hungry' with no food in sight, life is a living hell.  But feeding them well is what many of us love to do and few jobs feel as satisfying.  It's what keeps them healthy, keeps them happy, gives them some of their fondest memories and teaches them to cook."

I love it!  Thanks Bop, you're the best!  Recipes to follow...

Paint bubbles

 

You just fill a container with a little water, paint and dishwashing soap.  Blow with a straw to make bubbles and then print them on paper. 

 

Wow!

Paint speckled face.

Our results - fantastic!

I found this activity at simplehomeschool.net.  I check in every few days and find some great ideas. 

Just wanted to share a few other fun ideas.  Listed below is a great resource for age appropriate art activities with kids.  It lists all the art supplies you can use and have on hand for different ages with different arts and crafts activities listed.

Making Art at Home:  My Favorite Art Supplies for Toddlers

Making Art at Home:  My Favorite Art Supplies for Preschoolers

Making Art at Home:  My Favorite Art Supplies for School - Aged children

What art activities do you enjoy with your kids?

Happy 4th of July!

math struggles

The last two weeks have seen Kai and I seriously struggling to get his math work done.  His eyes glaze over, he says he's "soooo tired," and resists in every way.  I've been trying to push through with the Horizon curriculum we purchased because it was expensive.   Honestly, I was expecting it to be something totally different than it is - which is basically just a set of workbooks with a teacher's manual.  I've also been sticking with it because I don't have the confidence to really know which direction to go with math.  And somewhere in the back of my head there's this little nagging thought, "Is he behind other children?" and "Is he where he needs to be?"   The curriculum has been a crutch for me to lean on to give me that security of knowing that I'm headed in the "right" direction.  But it's not working.  Kai is unhappy.  I am unhappy.  Our relationship becomes strained as I push him to do something he doesn't want to do.  My joyful, happy, curious boy is becoming whiny and grumpy.

Something clicked on Friday when he looked up at me and grabbed his head, "My brain is getting too fat," he said.  "It's too filled up than it's supposed to be." 


I really had to pause and just listen to those words, to really grasp what he was trying to communicate to me.  It was a description of a painful situation for him.  It's time to re-evaluate what I'm doing and make changes.

I spent time this weekend reading through some of my books and exploring articles and blog posts about math.  And crying some, too, just feeling bad about how things are going. 

Here's a few quotes and thoughts and things I'm thinking through.

These are from The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook

"Your curriculum should be tailored to your child and provide him much more time to pursue his interests than your workbooks.  For many parents a good curriculum provides feelings of security.  But parents need to learn how children develop and learn." 

"Why struggle with and push our children to learn something when they don't want to?  'To everything there is a season,' wrote King Solomon.  The wise parent, we have discovered, patiently waits for 'springtime' and 'harvest' rather than forcing something prematurely.  When we find ourselves pushing, we back off and try a new tack."

And from The Three R's by Ruth Beechick


"Practically every item in the first grade curriculum can be taught using real-life methods.  In fact, they are better taught in real life, including games, than in daily sit-down arithmetic lessons.  ...As a homeschool teacher you do not need a workbook and daily written assignments such as a classroom teacher might use.  Your one-on-one teaching can accomplish more.  But if your child likes it, occasional use of a workbook is all right."

And this really interesting article:  Kids Learn Math Easily When They Control Their Own Learning

And this one:  Just Do the Math

As I'm reading all this Ezzy and Jude begin to argue over some toy monkeys.  They each want the set of three monkeys.  So Kai says, "Well, if we had 6 monkeys they could each have three."  The Ezzy says,

"What if Koa wanted three too?"

"Then we would need 9."

"And what if mommy wanted three?"

"12."

And they went all the way up to 21 calculating if our whole family and God each wanted three monkeys.  Kai said each answer without missing a beat.  I looked at him in wonder.  If I had written 9 + 3 =  on a piece of paper and asked him to solve it, he could do it but he would agonize over it.  But here in a real life situation that was interesting for him it was very easy.

This is what Ruth Beechick talks about when she says, "Don't throw away your opportunity by imitating school too closely.  Use real life for teaching."

"...use real-life situations to teach bits of arithmetic and to build a 'need' to know arithmetic."

"Most arithmetic should be mental.  It happens in conversation, not in written assignments."

The last thing I want to do is kill his curiosity and spirit of adventure and joy in learning through a series of workbooks which are ineffective.

treasures

"What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly;
it is dearness only that gives everything its value."

Last week a really good friend came  to visit and bring a missions team to serve with us.  She used a full 50 lbs of her luggage space to bring things just to bless our family.  She brought really fun snacks that we can't get here, board shorts for me and Scott and lots and lots of books.  I feel so blessed. If you're reading this, thanks John and Laurie!  We love you guys!

I Cried Three Times Last Week

And here's why.  I love it when written words bring out emotions and touch my heart in such a way to bring tears.  I love the way fiction can do that through a story.  Sometimes the power of a story touches my life and changes me in ways nonfiction books never can.  Here's what we've been reading.


  The Family Under the Bridge

Kai and I just finished reading this aloud.  It's a story about a homeless man in France whose life is touched by three homeless children and their mother and how the children manage to get inside his heart to the point of changing his life in a profound way.


Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs

My husband read this one aloud to the boys and could hardly make it through it.  It is such a sweet story about a boy and his relationship with his two grandmothers.

The House of Mirth

I love classics.  I've read almost everything by Edith Wharton.  I couldn't figure out where this one was going at first.  It was really hard to predict the ending, but once again it was beautifully tragic.  The main character, Lily, is finally able to see a deeper meaning in life and her discovery is so simple, yet profound, due to the depth of the story and character development.

Just wanted to share three great reads with you.  What have you been reading?