A Colorful Week

A theme of our week might be shaving cream and food coloring.

I made this batch of shaving cream with food coloring for Jude to play with. I thought it would be fun to squish and mix it. Doesn't it look delicious? Don't you want to just dive right in?

Jude had a lot of fun with this.  So what else have we been up to?  Well....

We played in the rain.

I made spaghetti for dinner and dyed it different colors, just for fun.

They just thought this was the greatest thing ever. I have never seen three boys eat spaghetti so fast.

Ezzy painted his face red- that was a surprise.

Kai made scrambled eggs by himself.

 We made tin can telephones - they actually work!

 Another shaving cream activity (see, I told you it was a theme for the week).  This one is a little different in that it is half shaving cream and half white glue.  This makes an incredible finger paint!  It could also be used to make a collage, but we didn't do that.  (Ideas from:  Not Just Cute)

Ezzy's making a sunset.

We went to the Farmer's Market and bought lots of fruit, then had a fruit-cutting party.

Now we have bags of fruit in the freezer ready for smoothies!

Feeling Powerless

I'm sharing Playful Parenting techniques from my journal again today. ( Here, here and here are previous posts I've written on the topic).

Scenario 1:

Today the boys were playing with a belt.  Kai was pulling it while Ezra and Jude pulled the other way.  It was a fun game at first until Ezra got really frustrated and started crying and yelling at Kai.  I was coming over to help them sort the whole thing out when I decided to try another tactic. 

I grabbed the belt and ran, "Try to get me!"  At first Ezra looked at me angrily.  Kai and Jude were giggling and began to chase me.  Soon Ezra was giggling, too.  He chased me and I let him get the belt from me.  He threw it behind the couch declaring it to be in "cortis" (timeout in Costa Rica).  I began to sob really loud.  The boys were cracking up.  Kai came in with another belt which ended up in "cortis" too, behind the couch.  I sobbed again.  More laughs.  Then I said, "Let's have a snack."  And everyone went giggling happily to the table.

Imagine if you took all the time you now spend fussing at siblings to stop fighting, and you spent it playing with them.  What would happen?  I bet they'd fight less, enjoy each other more, and you'd have fun, too.  A great game for siblings is to grab the thing they are fighting over and run."

"If you think about what makes children giggle, often it's when reality is suspended and roles are reversed.  These are giggles of liberation as they are freeing themselves from worries, fears, and especially from feeling powerless over their lives.  They laugh, and their world is set right again."

Scenario 2:

Ezra was having a tough morning - crying over everything, getting angry, frustrated, not playing happily with his brothers.  We were outside looking at our hermit crabs.  Jude went inside to get them water.  He came back with a cupful and poured it into their bowl.  Ezra got mad because he wanted to pour it, not jude.  He bumped the habitat so Jude would spill and then laughed at him.  I asked him to stop because that was mean.  He sat on the floor and started crying. 

"When children are being mean, they are often sending us a signal that they are in need of more love and affection.  The problem is that we may not feel very inclined to offer much affection to children who have been mean, or sassy, or difficult.  Perhaps that's why children feel as if love is a scarce commodity sometimes.  If we get over our reluctance to give out love to children who have been "bad," then it won't be scarce anymore."

"Let's play a game!" I said.  We started with Go-Fish, but it wasn't going so well.  So we turned it into a huge memory game.  Kai got bored and drifted off to read, which was perfect because it gave me a chance to engage with Ezra.  "Let's play the game where Ezra gets all the matches!"  "Yeah!"  So Ezra went around and found all the matches with me cheering for him and calling him the Super-Match Man.  Yay!  And then we went to have a big glass of orange juice (Ezzy's favorite).  Now I see a major change in Ezra's behavior.  He's playing happily with Jude like the sweet, creative, silly, imaginative boy that he is!

"Some parents fear that letting their children play this way will leave them unprepared for the cold, cruel world of their peers.  Other children, after all, would never let them get away with such selfishness.  On the contrary, being in charge of the play and the rules fills children's cup (their need for love and security)- and that refill then leaves them more able to play happily on a level playing field with their peers.  It also helps them play out their tensions and upsets about the confusing world of games, rules, and competition." 

A lot of these ideas are really new to me.  I feel like as a mom I've been carrying a lot of stress and it's hard for me to just loosen up and be silly.  More often than not I'm cracking the whip, so to speak.  But I'm finding the benefits are incredible. So let's get down on the floor and play, laugh and have fun with our kids this week - and see what could happen!

this moment: I'm learning to...

For some reason it's really hard for me, but I know my family needs it.

Saying goodbye to TV... again!

About two months ago, our landlord asked us if we could "babysit" a TV in the upstairs apartment while it sat empty.   "Sure!" we replied!  We were able to use a DVD player and have really enjoyed watching movies.  There are those certain moments when it is just so convenient to put a video on for the kids.  But then it seems those moments become more and more common.  And then the kids start to ask for it more often then I'd like.  It sort of snowballs.  Our big thing, too, is letting the kids fall asleep watching a movie.  By the end of the day we're exhausted so it's just easier, but we end up missing out on those precious bedtime moments.

Well, last week new tenants moved in upstairs and so the TV had to go back.  Once again we are living TVless and once again I'm loving it.  We do have an option to watch videos on our computer, but this computer is my lifeline - for really important stuff, you know, like checking my facebook and writing my blogs, right? ;)  No, seriously, we really don't want to use the computer for videos because it is very important to us.  So we decided as a family to have movie night once a week - you know make it a big deal with popcorn and excitement and have that be that.  It's amazing how fast the kids adjust to it, too, and come up with way more creative things to do.

First night without the TV!

It's better this way!

I let my children fight

Yes, it's true.  I'm outnumbered here 5:1, so I learned pretty quickly to let boys be boys.  But we do have some ground rules:

1.  Playfighting is allowed, real fights are not.  If you visit my home you will here me asking, "Is this a playfight or a real fight?"  If both children answer, "playfight!" then it's allowed.  If not, it will stop immediately.

2.  To qualify as a "playfight" both children must agree it's a playfight.  In otherwords, if one child thinks it's a playfight and the other one feels it's a real fight, then it must stop immediately.

3.  There are some risks involved.  If you choose to playfight, you may get hurt.  If this happens, I usually recommend that the child takes a break.  When I recommend this, the child usually all-of-a-sudden feels better and decides that to keep playing would be way more fun than taking a break, and maybe is not feeling so hurt after all.

4.  Koa just can't wait to get in on the action.

Here's what I'm talking about...  beware this video is not for the faint of heart.  You may see some intense moments, but just look and you'll see the smiles on the faces.  It's taken me awhile to understand the strange world of boys - but I think stuff like this is a huge part of it, and possibly very necessary...

Developing character in our kids

Do you ever see a negative character trait expressed in your child and just cringe?  I believe that part of my job as mom is to help my children in their character development.  In the midst of dealing with difficult behaviors, I have to take deep breaths and remind myself to have grace.  Change is a process.  I have to pray about how to best address these things.  And I have to be diligent and not give up, even though it can be an exhausting process.

It helps to reflect, too.  The hard ages for me to deal with seem to be ages 4&5.  I remember going through a really difficult time with Kai at these ages.  I had times where I wondered if I would ever see results?  Would he ever get it?  "It's ok to be angry, but it's not ok to hit, scream, etc."  I repeated this phrase over and over and over again.  I can look back now and honestly say, he got it.  He did learn and he has gained a good measure of self-control over his emotions.  That's what I have to remember as I deal with Ezra and Jude who each turned 3 and 5 and seem to have entered into new phases with new challenges.

I'm working on teaching them about Honor.  According to this book, honor means: 

Treating people as special

Doing more than what's expected

Having a good attitude

I really like that. 

Cheap Thrills

{this moment}

A single photo - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Yes, this is what it looks like. My baby has a tattoo. While I wasn't looking, Ezzy found this in a cereal box and enthusiastically applied it to Koa's leg. It gave me such a good laugh, I just had to share!

Happy Birthday, Baby!

I'm a little bit behind, but here's my journal entry from the night of July 26 and July 27, the day Jude turned three.

The sweetest family moments always seem to happen when everyone is piled in our bed.  That's where we were last night when we started sharing funny stories about Jude, remembering his life and thinking about his Birthday, how he's turning 3.  Here are some memories we shared.

Ezzy remembered standing on the sidewalk with Jude at our house in Granadilla, waving at cars and shouting, "HONGA!" because Jude couldn't make an "L" sound, so that's what he said instead of "hola!"  silly!

Then I remembered how he would stand on the balcony at our house in San Francisco de dos rios and shout at the guard, "GORDITO!" because that's what the guard called him everyday as he rolled by in his stroller.  And also how he would hear the lottery man coming down the street and would echo his call shouting, "LOTERIA!" in a funny, deep voice just like the loteria man!  And the way he would zip down the stairs on his belly so fast!

Everyone cracked up laughing remembering these moments.

Jude's First Birthday

Jude's 2nd Birthday

Today he's turning 3 and Kai says, "Now he can talk good when he plays.  And he doesn't destroy everything anymore."  He's learned how to play with his brothers. 

This morning I woke up and Jude had snuck in the bed in the middle of the night.  He was right behind me hugging my back.  I woke up before him with Koa and we watched him sleep.  So peaceful.  When he opened his eyes I said, "Happy Birthday, Jude.  You're three years old now." 

He looked back at me and said, "But I'm still a boy."

"Yes.  You're still a boy."

Then he rolled off the bed to go find his brothers to make sure he's not missing any fun that might have started without him.

...Singing happy birthday, three candles sparkling atop a Mickey Mouse pancake.  Blow the candles, Jude!  Jude attempts to blow, but Ezzy blows them out.  Ezzy and Kai have hardly been able to contain their excitement all morning.  When can Jude open his presents???  After his pancakes... it's so hard to wait, it's just so exciting! 

"How old are you Jude?"

"I'm 6!" 

"No, he's three," says Ezzy.

"I'm 3!"  Big smile! 

For his birthday Jude received a xylophone, a Mr. Potato Head and a kickboard that he calls his "sufboard."  He opened his presents this morning after his pancake breakfast and it touched my heart how he immediately shared with his brothers without a thought or a fuss. 

Jude....

Your name means "praise" and your life does bring praise to God.  You are so joyful, silly, friendly.  Your smile lights up a room.  You love people, you're outgoing.  You love to play and you love to make people laugh.  You love your brothers so much.  Your smile, hugs, kisses and love fill my heart with warmth.  You are a joy.  You're a treasure.  I'm so glad you were born 3 years ago today, my little gordito.  You radiate love.

Throwing my schedule out the window!

I recently posted about my amazing new schedule with Kai and how well it's going.  Well, it is going well.  I love the productivity of a good schedule.  But even in that, sometimes you just have to toss the schedule and mix things up.  That's the beauty of homeschool.

Kai woke up in sort of a grumpy, whiny mood.  He wasn't "hopping to it" with his schedule with any form of enthusiasm.  He was resisting every form of work.  I went to put Koa down for his morning nap and just sat and prayed for a minute. I prayed for a strategy of how to turn this day around and make it a good one. I immediately felt that I needed to let go of the schedule and do some fun, creative stuff with our unit on Ocean we've been doing.

So I gathered the boys around and did the good day cheer.  Then we played "Dive Under the Ocean."  To play I put some sea creature toys under a sheet and called a child's name, "Jude, dive under the ocean."  He "swam" under the sheet and picked one ocean toy and named the animal he picked.  We did this several times and they would have kept playing all day!

My next suggestion was to use the new paints that my mom brought us.  So we each picked an ocean creature to paint.

Next we did a really fun craft.  We sat and tore up little sheets of construction paper.  We put them into a trash bag.  Then we cut out a sea animal shape and painted it with glue.  We dropped the gluey creature into the bag and shook it up.  They had a lot of fun shaking the bag up.  Then we pulled the creature out and were amazed at how the little papers stuck to the creature so perfectly.

Then we made this little project - you fill a bottle half way with blue colored water.  Fill the rest with oil.  It makes waves in the bottle.  

After all the crafts and games we went outside to have a snack and story.  This is "Quiet Fox."  He has his ears up and his mouth closed!  My friend Ellen, a second grade teacher taught me this one!  It works!

And after story a good run with the ball - kicking it soccer style, or futbol as we say here, before the rain came.

I think everyone felt refreshed after this morning and the next day Kai was ready to get back to his schedule with renewed energy and enthusiasm!

Way behind...

I've been counting my way to 1,000 gifts, taking time to give thanks each Monday. I got waaaay behind on my list in the last month or two, but I've been doing some in my journal and thought I'd get back to gratitude on my blog. What a difference it makes to give thanks!

56. Whirring of fans.
57. Freshly cut grass.
58. Spontaneous scissor projects.
59. Sandbags ready for the next big rain.
60. Tax Return!
61. More bike riding and less driving.
62. Homemade get well cards when I'm sick.
63. Chubby baby legs.
64. The way the afternoon rain cools things off.
65. A wrist roll tan line.
66. Geckos in the house.
67. The thrill of a hermit crab changing shells.
68. Kai's soft, high singing voice that is amazingly on key.
69. Leggos - what a great toy.
70. A cool shower after a long, hot day.

71.  Trusting my husband.

72.  Extended baby days with this one.

73.  The way an iguana can captivate their attention so fully.

74.  This face.

75.  The incredible kid he's becoming.  Those moments when I look at him and I'm just amazed.

76.  Older brothers loving and caring for their baby brother.
77.  Fitting into non-maternity clothes - finally!

My mom sent me this article, which lead me to this blog, and this post (watch the video - it had me in tears!) - all with some great thoughts on gratitude with our children and science of the amazing difference this can make in the lives of parents and children.  The Bible exhorts us many times to "give thanks" at all times, in all circumstances.  How amazing to find science that backs this up.  God in his goodness doesn't command us to do things with no reason, but because of His great love for us and because He wants good things for us.  And so it is with giving thanks.