Some Thoughts on Behavior

Does anyone remember this face that I posted awhile back?

For quite awhile it seemed like all I was getting from Ezra was anger, sadness, tantrums, crying, and fighting with his brothers and me. Talk about exhausting! I also posted some of my strategies - for sibling rivalry and anger. Well, I'm not sure what happened, if these strategies "worked" or what, but man I am seeing a huge difference in Ezra's behavior. This past week I have received countless spontaneous hugs and kisses and I've gone from "Bad Mommy" to "The Best Mommy in the Whole World." That sure feels good!

Sometimes with my kids I feel like things go in waves. They start to push and push to find that boundary line, testing to see how far they can go. Really I think they're trying to see how secure they are in these loving limits. It gets to the point where I start to think, "I can't take it anymore! I can't stand this kid, his behavior is out of control, something must be done!" And then, just when I feel that nothing I'm doing is working, it lets up. It's like he knows he's ok. He's safe in our love. The boundaries are there, he's found them to hold firm, they won't move and he can relax and breathe and be content and secure and happy once more. Phew!

I'm glad my snuggle bear is back. I know he never left, but I was starting to wonder!

Learning to Enjoy

As I'm starting my 5th week of homeschool, one of the benefits I'm experiencing is a greater enjoyment of my children. So, I've been asking myself why that is and I think these are some reasons.

Starting homeschool and committing to be a full-time mom without any outside commitments has allowed me to focus my energy, gifts, talents - all that I am into this "job." I like Jamie Martin's phrase, "Intentional, professional motherhood." Without other distractions I can completely focus on my children and home and I'm finding this brings a greater sense of enjoyment for me personally. My children aren't in the way of something I'm trying to do - they ARE what I'm trying to do! It's much more fun that way.

making brownies

paint with water

a homemade volcano

This focus leads to the next benefit - an increased closeness with my children. Spending all this quality time together, I find I'm learning new things about each one. I'm getting to know them in ways I didn't before. And as I get to know them and gain a greater understanding of their personality and character I find I'm enjoying them so much more. They make me laugh and I actually have fun with them. Isn't it true the people you have the most fun with generally are the people you know the best that you've spent a lot of time with? I'm finding it's true with my children too!

Learning together with my kids is also something I'm finding I really enjoy! Allowing that natural curiosity to lead and discover new things creates a bond and a closeness that feels really good. It helps me to delight in my children.

water color play
more color play

Finally, something recently that has caused me to enjoy my kids more is the death of our over-used portable DVD player. This was a week without any visual entertainment. It took a little time to adjust, but we have read way more books, the boys have played together more and I've gotten more creative. All these things lead to a great enjoyment of my children.

homemade dough and dinosaur fun

I think that if I'm honest, I would say that enjoying my kids i s not what comes naturally. My natural tendency is to feel frustrated, irritated, even angry and overwhelmed. But, I'm learning there are things I can do to help me not just "survive" these days of small children, but to truly enjoy them. I want to live with no regrets and also hopefully lay a foundation for positive relationships into the teen and adult years.

I had some reservations writing this post, because I don't want to sound like I have it all together or things are perfect - far from it! I'm not saying everything is a joy and delight. But I am saying I have an increased enjoyment, for these reasons, and I'm so thankful for it. I'm also not saying these are the only ways to enjoy your children, I'm just sharing what I'm experiencing right now and I'm loving it.

"twinkle twinkle" recorded by Kai

What about you? What are things that increase your enjoyment of your children? I'd love to hear from you!

Gratitude

I'm thankful this morning....

11. That I got a goood night's sleep! I have a lot of trouble sleeping, so good sleep for me is a blessing, and I got a good one last night - went to bed reeeeaally early. I'm so thankful - I was so tired..

12. Good books to read with my little ones today.

13. Kai's great attitude this morning towards school - he's prepped and ready to learn today!

14. Singing "twinkle twinkle" with Ezzy and Jude - several times a day, it's about the cutest thing to hear their little voices.

15. Finding and reconnecting with an old friend through facebook - and we have more in common now than I could believe, what a blessing.

16. I'm thankful that as other children are heading off to school this morning, I get to keep mine here at home with me and learn new things together. Amazing! When making the decision to homeschool I wondered if I could handle it and I never expected to love it this much.

This gave me a really good chuckle today

Yes, that's Ezzy, Asleep on the toilet. Never seen that before!

A Valentines Party

Another missionary mom here in Costa Rica has thrown me a lifeline. I've grabbed on and it's keeping me afloat in these crazy days of adjusting to life with four children and our new homeschooling adventure. Not only is she a long term experienced missionary mom - she also has three boys ages 10, 12 and 15 AND has raised them all on the mission field AND homeschools AND is totally into bonding and attachment and co-sleeping all that wonderful stuff AND has given her boys totally original names which I think is so cool. Talk about a lot in common and divine appointments. I treasure these Wednesday afternoons I get to spend at her home with her lovely boys. I get a chance to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, talk, talk, talk, talk (with an adult) and ask questions and just learn from another mom who's a step ahead of me. I really love the way God takes care of me. And I know this is one of his ways.

This Wednesday Jill let me know ahead of time that we were having a Valentines party. So of course everyone wore red and the boys were very psyched up. When we got there, I have to admit I was holding back tears. Jill had set up three different stations of Valentines activities, all completely age appropriate for my children. Not only that, but she had prepped her older boys to be involved with each activity and work alongside and help my boys. It was about the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I think living so far from family and people that truly love my children, to see someone reach out in that way to me and my boys touches me so deeply.


So they started out in the back painting a Happy Valentines Day banner. This was done first so it would have time to dry and we could roll it up and take it home! Instant Valentines decorations!


Next we moved into the kitchen where Jill had made THE MOST DELICIOUS sugar cookies and frosting I've ever tasted.

Each kid got to frost and decorate three huge cookies.

And the best part of course... eating!

Look at these amazing cookies - we got to take a bunch home too!

Final step - make a secret, special Valentines card for mom and dad.

Here they are working away. I wasn't allowed in the room, so I just peeked around the corner. The cards they made are just darling.

I like to call this photo, "All Things Boy." Sticks, ropes, trees, and dogs, could you ask for more?


Add to that list puppies and balls... it's boy heaven!

Jill, I hope you're reading this! And if you are, THANK YOU - for reaching out to me and just being who you are. It means more than you know. :) See you next Wednesday!

 

Crayon Melting Madness

I got this idea from Pink and Green Mama. I like it because I am not very crafty and a lot of crafts I find require all kinds of crafty supplies I don't have on hand. But with this one all you need is your old, broken crayons, that's it! I didn't have Pink and Green Mama's cute little heart tray, but it was fun experimenting and finding what works. We used a muffin tin to do circles and cookie cutters wrapped in tin foil for some different shapes.

First step - sort your crayons and find all the old broken ones.

Make sure you peel that paper (good fine motor skills!)

Fill up a muffin tin (make sure you grease it)...


...and some cookie cutters.

Put them on low in the oven til they're all nice and melted.

Then let them cool. Once they reached room temperature I put mine in the freezer for a few minutes and they just popped right out!

Ta da! They make these really cool fun little circles with a nice, smooth texture.

Finally, make up some games and have fun!

Seven Years

I could never have imagined, seven years ago, how my life would be forever changed by this little boy. Since the moment he came into the world he has completely captivated me, taught me how to truly love and made my life richer, fuller and more purposeful. There's something about your firstborn - the one you make all your mistakes with as you stumblingly find your way as a new parent. But somehow they survive and thrive and grow - love covers a multitude of sins. I could never thank God enough for the gift of this child and my heart celebrates his seven years of life.
How do I describe him? He's shy, yet very social. Once you get to know him, he is a loyal friend. He's sensitive, kind, adventurous, but not reckless. He's cautious and careful and likes things to be in order. He has a low tolerance for pain and completely freaks out at the sight of blood. He's frequently seen reading books, skateboarding, riding his bike, climbing trees, laughing, wrestling, tumbling and recently eating A LOT.

He loves his brothers, even though at times they torment him. When he's mad he can throw a really good fit. But then there are those days when he says, "Mom, I have a surprise." And he's gone and cleaned his room up perfectly just to surprise me and his eyes light up as he grins so wide when he sees how pleased I am. I can't imagine my life without him.
What a whirlwind of a life you've had, Kai. In your short seven years you've lived in California, Africa, Singapore, Costa Rica and travelled to Malaysia, Panama, Nicaragua and Virginia. I know it's been hard for you, and you miss your family and would do so much better with a more stable life. But you're such a trooper and we're so thankful for God's grace to help you through all the hard transitions you've gone through. Happy Birthday, Kai! I love you more than I can say.


Oh, and I have to add this video. It's from his sleepover Birthday party this weekend, which was totally insane, (but so worth it) I'm still recovering from it!



Don't forget to visit Steady Mom for more 30 minute blog challenges. Ok, I'll admit this took me more than 30 minutes - It would have been, but then I got totally carried away on the photos!!!


also check out: Tuesdays Uwrapped