I'm just getting started on this new adventure and I'm already seeing some major changes in ME and the boys.
The process of homeschool absorbs me. It takes everything - my complete focus and attention, creativity and energy. But as I put that effort in I find myself smiling more, laughing more, giving more hugs, having more fun and actually enjoying my kids. I'm getting to know them in a deeper way - their intricate personalities, their sense of humor. We're spending more quality time together and instead of missing the extra time I used to have and other things I used to do I find I'm loving this.
The boys are changing too. They thrive with the extra attention. They do not miss school and don't want to go back. They have a new interest and curiosity in the world around them. They're getting along better as brothers. Behavior problems and tantrums are decreasing. They're becoming more focused and able to maintain a longer attention span.
We don't have a TV, but we did have a mini-DVD player that got a LOT of use. Recently this beloved contraption broke and video watching is now only available on our laptop. As Friday rolled around I realized the kids had not watched a video all week - and they hadn't missed it or asked for one. Wow - I couldn't have imagined that happening 1 or 2 months ago.
This Friday I was soooo tired. I had slept maybe 4 or 5 hours the night before and I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the day. My strategy? We got some blankets and our Bibles and lay under the tree in the backyard. After lots of Bible stories Jude brought some cars and Kai and Ezzy brought some nature magazines and books. We read and spent time just watching the insects around us. A dragonfly got caught in a spider's web and we intently watched it's struggle (until Jude decided to intervene and tore down the whole web!) We did a color match game and tried to match the right crayon color with the different colors in the yard - shades of green and brown, yellows and which blue matches the sky?
I knew they would need to munch so I grabbed turkey slices, cheese, crackers and water -about as simple as you can get - and watched them stuff their faces. They also wanted to suck a lemon that they picked off a tree in the neighborhood. The sun spilling through the leaves, shining faces, giggles and wonder as we passed the whole morning laying on a blanket just being together.
Added bonus - when I put Jude down for his nap the tiredness overtook me and I fell asleep with him. Kai and Ezzy played quietly inside their classroom and actually let me sleep. When I woke up I found them at their desk with coloring books. Talk about God's grace for a tired mommy.
I hope I'm not making this sound too idealistic. It's not - not by any means. I still have an emotional 4 year old throwing irrational tantrums, a 2 year old whose new trick is to hit me and say, "bad mommy," when he's mad, a 6 year old who always seems to find the negative or something to complain about no matter what we're doing, and a very active baby in my womb who doesn't give me space to breathe or a night of rest.
I guess I'm just amazed that I'm making it. I'm actually diong this. I'm not only being a mom to these 4 boys, I'm homeschooling them as well and I'm loving what it's doing to our family so far.
