My "goal" of hospitality is to offer a nice, relaxing, orderly environment to welcome people into so they can enjoy, share, receive and be blessed. Honestly, I've had to drop this "ideal," because the reality is it can't always happen. But, truly, an open heart to love and bless others can go a long way. I've learned to open my door and let others in even when things are a mess, slightly chaotic and maybe when they walk through the door I'm stirring a pot with a baby strapped to me, sweating like a pig and wearing sweat pants.
Sure, this is not my ideal, this is not perfect hospitality, but this is my reality - this is where I'm at. I can try as hard as I can to appear to others that I "have it all together," and I will fail miserably. I just literally cannot stay on top of everything.
So, when Scott calls at 5:00 pm and says he's bringing 3 people up for dinner, I know that those people are more important than the state of my home or the quality of food we will eat. Here's a quote from Karen's Main's book, "Open Heart, Open Home." She talks about entertainment vs. hospitality. I had never really thought of it this way.
"Entertainment says, 'I want to impress you with my beautiful home, my clever decorating, my gourmet cooking.' Hospitality, however, seeks to minister. It says, 'This home is not mine. It is truly a gift from my Master. I am his servant, and I use it as he desires.' Hospitality does not try to impress, but to serve" (p. 29).Believe me, people are definitely seeing my humanness right now! But what a joy to share, welcome friends and build new friendships. It's an honor and a privilege. I'm learning humility and it's really good for me.
"Working hard to keep people from recognizing our weak points, we also prevent them from loving us in our weakness. Because hospitality has put away its pride, it doesn't care if other people see our humanness" (p.30).
So, naturally, I'm thinking about a lot of these things as we're searching for a new home in Jaco. What kind of home will we have? What will we do in this home? What will hospitality look like? The uncertainty and transition is excruciating for me. Especially as momma bear instincts kick in, wanting to have a secure environment for my 4 little ones.
A friend emailed me some words of wisdom, " I truly believe deep down that all ministry starts at home – our lives, our marriages, our children, our family – these are the greatest gifts we will give. More than Jaco needs a ministry, Jaco needs you – your thoughtful heart, your dedication to the four little ones entrusted to your care, your strong beliefs in attachment and life. So finding a lifegiving place to live and be is perhaps the first pivotal decision, ministry will flow from that. So take a deep breath, and let God lead you to where He wants you to be for this season."
Amen to that. There has to be balance. I can offer hospitality to people, but if I don't offer it to my own husband and children first, it will have zero impact - and can even be detrimental. Hospitality has to begin in my heart, with my own family, and out of that it can flow to others. So as we search for a new home I'm reflecting on what it means to have a home. I'm also searching to align my priorities and to make sure I have things in the right order.
What about you? I'd love to hear others' thoughts on hospitality.
Open Heart, Open Home: The Hospitable Way to Make Others Feel Welcome and Wanted
