How do we produce change in our lives?

Sometimes God comes in and boom!  Instant transformation!  More often, though, it's a gradual, daily walking it out.  It seems like lately this is my heart's cry:

I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.  ...I want to do what is right, but I can't.  I want to do what is good, but I don't.  I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.  ...I have discovered this principle of life - that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.  ...Oh what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

From Romans chapter 7

I'm really trying to change some of my parenting responses.  Yelling, frustration, irritibility.  It seems like when things get stressful and tensions rise, I start yelling in order to get compliance.  I want to be less harsh in my responses towards my children and more kind.  More patient.  I know this is a good commitment to make and I'm praying each day and asking the Lord to help me.  I want to do better. 

The process of change is excruciating.  It's not just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one, though that is part of it, but more than that, it's a matter of changing your character - your very nature and personality.  The Bible is clear about how to do it - but knowing how and doing it are two different things.  Failing in my own strength, needing to rely on Christ, to die to my own selfishness, to call out for help, to let go of my pride.   All I can do at times is just fall down and say, "I can't do it on my own... in my own strength I cannot... I repeatedly fail..."

But, you know what, I started praying this prayer two months ago.  And I started journaling my better moments - moments when I distinctly did the opposite of what I felt and what the result was.  I'm looking through my journal today and I can honestly say I think the positive moments are becoming more and more frequent.  I think that change is truly happening, though at a slower pace than I would like, it is happening.

And so, I take heart.  And press on.

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."  Philippians 1:6